That internal struggle between wanting to grow your hair out and also wanting to chop it all off.
This is incredibly accurate. It also applies to the internal struggle of trying to decide if you want to dye it or not.
And then choosing between two ever-so-slightly different colors of hair dye
- Get some cheap dishes and break them when you get upset.
- Learn how to say “NO” and don’t feel guilty about it
- Buy something frivolous for yourself once in awhile, like a new hat.
- Never again do anything you don’t want to do.
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
Come one, come all to Bill Shatner’s School of Overacting!
Forget subtle, nuanced performances. Those are boring and forgettable. Learn how to say your lines with gusto!
In this course you will learn such techniques as…
- The double fist shake
- The naughty kitten
- The cultural appropriation
- The self bitch slap
- The enthusiastic mime stuck in a box
- The nipple hardener
- The sweaty declaration of self
- The “this wall is amazing”
And many more!
The naughty kitten is a personal favorite
There needs to be a code word or something that means “my brain is fighting me every step of the way today and I feel like I’m going to vibrate out of my skin, so I need you to forgive everything and go slowly and speak softly and lower your expectations.” And then we could all just be like, “I know I said we could go to a movie tonight but… tangerines.” And the other person would nod and squeeze your elbow or rub your head and you wouldn’t feel like a failure.